New Memewaukee! Win ALL the Games

There aren't many reasons for a positive superlative in these parts (Freeze ALL the Days? Recall ALL the Politicians?), but here's an X all the Y the whole country can enjoy!

The "Suh Stomp" Gets Animated

Taiwan's Next Media Animation delights in covering American scandals and scallywags—Tiger Woods, Joe Paterno, Michele Bachmann... and now, Ndamukong Suh.



The Detroit Lions defensive tackle received a two-game suspension for the Thanksgiving Stomp. Did anyone else find his apology a bit, lackluster?

New Memewaukee! Pepper Spray Cop Meets Ryan Braun

Congratulations to Ryan Braun on being named the National League's Most Valuable Player! Too bad Casually Pepper Spray Everything Cop had to go and ruin everything.

Kohl's Parodies Rebecca Black

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Wisconsin Is Open for Beer

Minnesota's two-week-old state government shutdown got real yesterday when MillerCoors was ordered to stop selling beer because of expired licenses.

Can you imagine the mayhem if that happened here? It’d make the Riverwest mobs look like playtime.

Still, as neighbors, I feel that Wisconsin is obliged to help our beer-besieged brothers to the west. We just have to tweak our message a bit:

New Memewaukee! Kramp & Adler Simply Walk Into Mordor

I'm a sucker for Internet memes—viral videos and images such as keyboard cat, sad Keanu, advice dog, imma let you finish and the like.

And I think it's time we added some local flair to these gems of Internet culture:

Stay tuned for more Memewaukee! I mean, moar. MOAR!!1!

Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Excited to Carry One?

The more-guns-makes-us-safer crowd can now sleep soundly (with a .45 under their pillow, no doubt) after securing passage of Wisconsin's new concealed-carry law.

But having come from Minnesota—which passed a similar law several years ago—I can tell you from experience that concealed weapons have a negligible effect on violent crime. The only tangible thing our legislature accomplished is that now we can look forward to seeing these on the doors of most Wisconsin businesses:

That, and an endless pissing match over whether guns should be allowed in places such as churches, schools and daycare centers.

I can only hope that our gun-loving brethren will respect differences of opinion on the matter... if Snoopy can learn to respect signs, they can too.

Fratricide in Milwaukee Music

I can't image what Milwaukee's Brian Hoffer hopes to accomplish with this Facebook ad:

Really? You just recorded your debut album, and now you're insulting the one venue that might actually give your drowsy pop some airtime? Doesn't seem like a wise marketing strategy, especially from someone whose main gig is, in fact, marketing (for Milwaukee Recreation, if I'm not mistaken).

Maybe there's some bad blood between Hoffer and 88Nine. Maybe Hoffer isn't very serious about his music. Or maybe he simply doesn't care whether Into the Boulevard reaches a wider audience.

If that's the case, don't expect anyone else to care, either.

DPW Adds an Extra Day to June

If you notice a bunch of uncollected garbage on the southside this holiday weekend, I have a pretty good idea why:

There are, of course, only 30 days in June, leaving us to guess whether the city was going to collect on Friday, July 1. The answer, we now know, is "no."


I guess somebody over at the Department of Public Works never heard this rhyme:

Deep-Fried Kool-Aid? Oh Yeah!

With deep fried-cream cheese, deep-fried apple pie and deep-fried bacon-wrapped hot dogs, you might think the Wisconsin State Fair is a pioneer in frying the shit out of already-fattening foods.

Not so. Our gluttonous fatties can't hold a candle to SoCal's "Chicken" Charlie Boghosian.

Chicken Charlie—the man who claims to have invented the deep-fried Oreo—is truly a visionary in the art of clogging arteries. And this year he ups the ante in a big way with deep-fried Kool-Aid balls.

That's right—fried Kool-Aid. Here's how it's done:

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

In Driver's Seat

Could anyone help but feel good after glimpsing the cover of today's Journal Sentinel?

Donald Driver is all class, and I don't think anyone else in football right now can match his heart and charisma. Seeing him wear a Super Bowl ring made me think there actually is justice in the universe ... at least, until I remembered the lockout.

New Milwaukee Blog!

What would make Milwaukee a better place to live?

• A functioning state government?
  
• A vibrant downtown business district?
  
• A decent local music scene?
  
• Jobs that don't involve lathes or drill presses?
  
• A public infrastructure that isn't decaying?
  

"Yes" ... to all of the above, and much more. But do you know what else would make Milwaukee a better place to live?

A new blog!

Such was my thinking, anyway, during a recent trip to my old stomping grounds of Minneapolis. So instead of privately grumbling about the Cream City - and greedily hoarding its gems - I decided to take this show on the road.

Along the way, I hope we can build a local culture of ambition and creativity to break the malaise and mediocrity that shrouds this city.

Thanks for joining me!